my birthday

Yesterday was my 17th birthday! Practically i wasn't expecting any celebration. Coz i was predicting that my parents wouldnt remember. Eventually they did! and i'm glad. Well the night before my birthday, my mom she wasnt at home. she admitted to the hospital. And i was sad coz i afraid that i couldnt celebrate my birthday with her. Thank God she came home on my day! So what happened at night, we had KFC for dinner and some other dishes. Guess what cake i have? Black Forest cake! from secret recipe. Hey i dont think it taste really nice n its quite expensive. =.=' Oh the hilarious part is I think my DAD he dont know how to spell my name ended up writing cyndia. =.=' i asked him did he spell that but he deny! and i know he did! lol

At 9, everyone gather down in the dinning hall. My dad took some pictures. ^^ before we started singing the birthday song, i ask my mom to join me because her birthday is a few days later. So we ended up celebrating togather. So we sang the happy birthday song. LOL well basically i din blow the candle. my mom did! lol. i really wanted our wish will come true. especially for my mom. I'm just too afraid for her. When i looked back at the pictures in my camera, i'm happy coz i see my mom she is smilling. well i guess we had a great time.

That night i was pretty afraid of somthing. I just don't know why. My mom she is going to an operation and this worry me much. i kept thinking of it. it could be a distraction for me. and i cried. I'm seriously afraid now and always been praying. I dont know what to do. My exams are just around the corner. I'm seriously afraid. I need some one to talk too. And sometimes i really wanted to cry infront of my friends. Maybe they can console me at that time? *sigh*
There is not turning back and i know. Life i still have to go on. Dying is not the solution to everything. So what i keep on telling myself is to stay strong! and i know i can do it because i do belief in myself!

bored.



8 days left to SPM. I'm not ready especially my accounts. LOL have not been doing any of account works nor reading . And its the end of it. Think i'm going to fail. Well, studying seem fun. LOL. i just realise =.= Tomorrow is my special day! hurray! =.=' hmm. i dont think i care much about it though. SPM!! i care! Hey. if you are reading this, i'll advice you to stop reading coz it's all crap. haha. It's quite hard for me to be happy now. Too many things are happening drastically. And it makes me sad. Haiz well what can i do? Isnt life? whatever it take, i still need to life. Oh yesterday i was thinking, how do i wanted to die peacefully without pain. And i think again. Dying isnt easy!

Yesterday was my last day in sunday school. We had a party. Sang some songs and that's the end of it. I think i'm gonna missed my sunday school days and my friends. LOL. should i go for t post confirmation? My friends are going but i have made my choice yet. I'm still thinking about it. Oh yes i got the cds which contain pictures during confirmation day. =.= i hate it. Hmm i think i should stop using hate. lol. on sunday the priest told us that the opposite of love is indifferent. not HATE. lol. I missed my green spec. it is still wif my friend for few week already. I think i'm getting it back this friday. hopefully she bring to school. Hmm i like this music i'm listening to. It;s relaxing. XD

hmmm


everything is stupid. whatever it goes its dumb and stupid. how i hate it. =.=''



ahhh.... get a life

Need You In My Life Lyrics

I once was lost but You found me and now I'm free
I need Your power to come and change me
Your Spirit lives in me
I wanna dance for all to see

What compares to Your redeeming Love
What can separate me from Your Love

I need You in my life
I'm never letting go
Of all the things You've said
I'm holding on 'cause You promised me that
You'd never leave
You're always by my side
You'll never let me go
So I'm holding on 'cause I know that I need You

Awaken me.....

These days i slept late every day. Is not because i'm actually studying but instead of that i'm sms-ing people. I tried to study but couldn't help me!! i know its already lack of time and time passes really fast. Joe told me to value my time. but i didn;t not listen. And it is true that i need to value my time. What i was doing in my room is basically i'm sleeping. and dreaming around. I don't know why. My mom she just admit again. And she coming back today! Well, i think it should be fine! Hope so! Hmm.. Recentlly i never did praying. I think i should start praying for my mom and myself. I won't want to have my spm down to the drain. Its embrassing for me to get bad result wherelse my friends are scoring with flying colors.. Gosh i think i really need to think more about it! and force myself to study. things can be better if some one push me hard. Gosh is less than 14 days. And i have a lot to cope. guess i'll stop here for now.

Yesterday my friend smsed me. Instead of replying her, i called her. I asked her what happen and she seem to be moody at that time. Then i began to realise that she was sad. I asked her what happen to her but she refuse to tell me. She insisted me to sms her not talking. She told me that she is sad because she had lack of time to study for spm. told me many subjects she need to study and said that she wouldnt make it. I told her to stay strong and belief in herself that she can do it. Is everything in our mind. What we think might affect ourself. So think positive. Do not lose hope. Giving up is for hopeless people. She then told me about whatever she had studied doesnt apply when she is doing some assessment. Guess what i told her! like what she had told me she was thinking that shes lack of time. So i ended up telling her, "because you think you have less time, you brains isnt functioning. and futhermore instead of answering the question you are actually thinking about the time." So i told her to stay calm. asked to try or just read the answer from the book or refer from any of the referance book. And that's the end of it. Well, I find this pretty weird coz i'm the one whoz doing the same thing as her. I don't know why i can come up this stuff but i just did.

In school, well it bored me!! Some teacher;s retirement was held. LOL guess what i dont even know what;s her name plus she is our penolong-kanan 1 . haha.. If not because the retirement, i seriously don't know that she is our penolong kanan. swt. i know i'm being a bad student. About her, lol no offence, her speech really bore me. her voice is so dull not melodious also. During the retirement, all the teacher are so emotional. the best emo teacher is her self. She was sobbing... erm anyway i wanted to congratulate her also for being a new principal in other school. But i didnt. haha..